Monday, November 3, 2014

Hospitality & Entertaining – Don’t Do It If Your Heart Isn’t In It

You may be sitting there thinking “Isn’t this supposed to be part of a series about hospitality and entertaining?  Then why is she saying ‘don’t do it’? That could have just been one post, not a two week series.” 
I’m definitely not saying “don’t do it”.  I’m saying don’t do it with the wrong attitude.  Let me explain.
When I was a child, my parents (and by extension my sister and I) belonged to a religion that didn’t have regular preachers/priests/reverends.  Once the men achieved a certain rank they were part of a rotation that delivered the Sunday sermon. Sometimes there was trading out among local congregations.  My dad got added to the rotation when I was about ten years old.  There was also a tradition of all of the families in the congregation being on a list to rotate extending hospitality to whoever delivered the Sunday sermon and their family.  It sounds kind of nice in theory, but the reality was anything but.
You see, the hospitality list was more obligatory than voluntary, and there was no choosing who you’d end up with.  Very often “hospitality” was extended grudgingly.  Sometimes the host family just didn’t care much for the person who’d delivered the sermon.  Sometimes the host family just didn’t want to entertain that weekend.  Sometimes the tension was very nearly unbearable.  I can’t even count the times I sat at someone’s dining room table silently promising myself that when I grew up and had my own house, no one who came over would feel that way. 
That’s not what hospitality is supposed to be.  Guests shouldn’t feel resented and wonder what in the world they’re even doing there.  No one wants to suffer through that sort of “hospitality”. 
It’s okay to take a break from extending hospitality.  You don’t want to be miserable, and you don’t want to make your guests miserable.  Maybe you’ve thrown a Christmas party every year for the past ten years, but you just don’t feel like doing it this year.  Don’t.  If your heart isn’t in it, you’re probably not going to enjoy it, and that’s something that your guests will very likely pick up on. 
Take a break.  Regroup.  Maybe revamp how you choose to entertain at home, or re-work your guest list.  Do whatever it is you need to do to go back to wanting to extend hospitality and entertain in your home.  You’ll enjoy it more, and your guests will feel welcome and glad to have been invited.  


  1. I completely agree and it's how I feel about volunteering for anything. If your heart isn't in it, don't do it.

  2. I totally agree with your thoughts! Someone else can step in and do the entertaining the year you might not feel like doing so and maybe gives them a chance to see how easy it can be to entertain. I know the year my mom died right before Christmas, I was in no mood to put up a Christmas tree. Next year was a better year and I did put one up. Great thoughts!



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