Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Staying Home From Home Parties

Lately there seems to be an epidemic of home parties, you know the kind, where someone invites all of her friends over for snacks and a demonstration of some sort of product; anything from cookware to candles, to handbags to, um, “adult-themed goodies”.    Then you’re supposed to order products and possibly have your own home party, and maybe even quit your day job and join the company where you can set your own schedule and make more money than you’ve ever dreamed.  Those home parties.

No, I’m not opposed to home parties.  I’ve been to several and had a good time.  I like a lot of the products.  I’ve hosted some of my own, and I am a (very, very, very) part-time consultant (though I will probably phase out by the end of the year) for one company.  The idea sort of makes sense too; friends all buy a little to help each other get a little more for free.  Who can’t use free things in this economy? 

I’m just getting a little tired of being invited (or pressured) to attend home parties.  I’ve been invited to close to two dozen in the past six months.  It’s not that I know so many people; it’s that the same people are having them over and over again.  They have another one because they didn’t get everything they want on the first go-round, or they sell the line and need to have so many parties, or they have a friend who sells the line and needs money for some reason or another. 

I get it.  I get that sometimes you really, really want those host benefits, or you really need to make your numbers, or you’re in a tight spot financially and need some extra money.  I just don’t understand how or when it became acceptable to push those needs or wants of yours off on other people.   I think there are definitely limits to how many times you can invite the same person to a home party in a given time frame.

I realize there’s the standard fall back of “oh you don’t have to buy anything, just come hang out and have some snacks”.  I don’t understand this one.  My mother raised me that it’s bad manners to go to one of these and not buy something.  She also raised me that it’s bad manners to have too many.  (More on that later.)  You’re being invited with the goal of getting you to purchase something, that’s pretty much the point.  Telling you that you don’t have to buy anything (of course you don’t HAVE to buy something, it’s not like you’re going to be held hostage until you whip out the checkbook) seems to be a means of getting you to show up in hopes that you’ll see something you want, or feel like you need to buy something. 

All of that being said, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have home parties, as I said, some of them can be a lot of fun.  I think there’s just a limit to how many times you can invite the same people to come to your home to spend money.  For me, I think that limit is about two to three times per year, at the most.  My mom’s rule has always been not to only invite people for home parties.  I think that makes a lot of sense.  If you only invite someone over when you’d like them to buy something that can easily make a person feel used. 

So what about you?  What’s your take on home parties?  How many is one (or more) too many for you?  How do you gracefully decline? 


16 comments:

  1. I've been to a couple of candle parties....not going to home parties anymore....I just say No Thank You and leave it at that...no explanation.

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    1. I like that; very much to the point, but polite.

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  2. I just say, "Thanks for the invite, but I'm busy that day/night" and leave it at that.

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    1. I like that, too, you can't argue with someone being busy.

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  3. Thanks for being so open, Danielle. I think most of us feel this way but won't express it. I became a coffee distributor last fall because I loved the coffee. But I had warned the person whom I signed under that if I was pressured to sell, I would quit altogether. Well...I was pressured. And I quit. But I still order the coffee for myself.

    I usually turn down invites unless it is for a very, very good friend, and then I usually buy the cheapest item in the catalog.

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    1. I know what you mean about being pressured to sell; that's pretty much why I'm phasing out too. I think I'd be on a permanent caffeine high if I sold coffee. :-)

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  4. Luckily I don't have any "home-party" consultants here where I live, so I'm not stuck going to any. I do have two women on Facebook who are alway trying to sell on there. It's weird though because they don't go on and on about how great the product is, they both always say something about helping them reach their goals. They say "I have three days to reach my spring sales goal, let me know if you need anything" I read that between the lines as "I'm peddling crap and want to make a bonus, so help me out sucker!" At least through Facebook I can ignore it and not feel like a social snob.

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    1. I know what you mean about the Facebook posts, though those are usually easier to ignore than the personal invitations.

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  5. I haven't been invited to a few home parties lately but they have been on days I work or at night when I had something going so I could politely decline the invitation. I remember when I would get invited in the past I would tell people I'd go and might or might not buy something but would definitely not host a party so don't count on me for that. I have to agree with you though; if I kept getting invited over and over again in a short period of time, that wouldn't set well with me.

    betty

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    1. That's pretty smart to be up front about possibly not buying anything and definitely not hosting one.

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  6. I've never been invited, and I don't think I'd go if I was. I really really don't like feeling pressured into buying something (even eager sales assistants in shops put me off making a purchase) so I'd have to go with a 'Terribly sorry, I'm busy that day' like others have suggested.

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    1. You may be the only person ever who has managed to escape being invited! :-) Eager sales people are definitely a pain; there's one store near my house that is terrible, and it has about turned me off from shopping there. "I'm busy" seems to be the foolproof out.

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    2. I don't think these home parties really go on much in the UK. Maybe that's your solution - emigrate over here! Bit extreme I suppose ...

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    3. So you guys get all of the way cool Diamond Jubilee stuff AND an escape from the home parties?!? I'm ready to move! Somehow I think my husband, who has never lived outside this county, might not go for that.

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    4. I know, right? Sometimes we do have to wait months for films to reach our cinemas though. That's pretty rubbish.

      Oh and it rains. All the damn time.

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  7. I have been invited a couple of times and thought, "they just want me to buy stuff..don't they know I don't have any money??" so I usually say I can't attend because I know I don't have any extra funds to purchase anything.

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