A Catch-Up Post

I thought a catch-up post was in order since it has been almost two months since I posted anything.

There hasn’t been anything especially interesting or exciting going on.  We’ve just been busy, mostly with work.  We’ve been stuck in a rut of not leaving work on time/taking work home with us (sometimes the whole “do more with less” gets really out of control), which hasn’t left time for much else. 

Most of this year has been that way, and it has felt like we’re stuck in a cycle of just trying to make it through the week only to arrive at the weekend exhausted and behind on all of the life stuff that got put off during the week.  When that happens, we seem to spend the entire weekend trying to catch up and getting ready for the next week of work. 

We both struggle a little bit with setting boundaries, so that’s something we’re making a real effort to work on.  We’re also trying to work on better time management.  I think better time management will follow if we get better at boundaries.  You can’t really manage time that you’ve allowed others to take control of. 

Hopefully, this means we’ll have a little more time for things we enjoy, which for me includes writing blog posts and visiting your blogs.

We both still have a long way to go when it comes to setting boundaries with work and leaving on time.  Hopefully, we’ll see some improvements soon.

We did finally make a plan and stick to it for this past weekend, though, and it was wonderful.  We bought tickets in advance for a Saturday afternoon showing of The Little Mermaid.  It’s one of my absolute favorite Disney cartoons, and I really wanted to see the live-action movie. 

It was so good!  It was just different enough from the cartoon not to be predictable but stayed true enough to the cartoon to be familiar.  There were some new songs that were great.  And I absolutely loved Melissa McCarthy as Ursula. 

In other catch-up news, I took a CPR class.  I took a compressions-only class years ago but never a full CPR class.  I had the chance to take one with Nick, so I went for it.  I’m always nervous in medical settings, so going through the class with Nick made me feel a lot better about it.  I did a lot better than I expected to with chest compressions, and I learned how to use a bag valve mask.  I still hope I never, ever have to do CPR on a person, but at least I know I can. 

It was neat to take the class with Nick, too, because even though he wasn’t teaching it (he’s not a CPR instructor, but has plenty of CPR experience after spending over 20 years in the fire department), he was helping people who were struggling during the practice and practicals.  It was neat to watch him teach other people and, in some cases, just help people find the confidence to do it. 

So, what about you?  What have you been up to for the past couple of months?  Are you good at maintaining a good work/life balance?  How do you do it?  Have you seen the new version of The Little Mermaid? 

Thursday 13: A Chemo and Senior Angels Update

 It looks like it has been almost two years since I did any kind of Chemo or Senior Angels update, so I think it’s definitely time for one. In the interest of not letting it get too long, I thought a Thursday 13 would be a good format for it.

If you’re not familiar with Chemo Angels and Senior Angels, you can read my long post about them here. The very short version is that they’re programs that match volunteers (known as card angels or chemo angels) with patients or seniors (known as buddies), and the volunteer sends cards/letters to the patient/senior. I volunteer as a card angel with both programs.

As usual, with this kind of post, the photos are just a random assortment.

 

Now, on to the update.

1. I’m still writing to my original senior buddy. I’ve been writing to her since November 2019, shortly after I started with the program. She has written me back a few times and is doing well overall.

2. Her daughter manages her check-ins and is great about mentioning specific things that she enjoys hearing about or pictures she really likes, which makes it much easier to write to her.

3. My chemo buddy from last time (the one who sent me the sweet gift at the beginning of 2021) finished with the program. Unfortunately, she’ll most likely be back for more chemo at some point, but she was getting an extended break and leaving the program for that.

4. The chemo buddy who became my regular buddy after I was substitute card angel for a while also finished with the program during an extended chemo break. We’ve exchanged a few emails since then, and she sent me a Christmas card last year. It sounds like she’s doing fairly well, which makes me very happy.

5. My first-ever teenage buddy, the one I called Anna in my last update, finished her chemo and is cancer free. Her mom has posted a few updates on the Facebook page she set up during Anna’s chemo. Anna’s hair has grown back and was beautiful in her prom pictures. She will start college in the fall and is living life to the full. I love those updates, and I’m delighted at how well she’s doing after everything she went through.

6. I had another teenage buddy for most of last year. We’ll call her Kate for purposes of the update. Kate finished her chemo earlier this year and is now cancer free. Kate’s mom wasn’t as detailed in her check-ins as Anna’s mom was, so it was a little harder to gauge what she did or didn’t like. I’m delighted that she’s finished and cancer free.

7. Last summer, I substituted for a 10-year-old girl for about a month while her regular card angel took a break. We’ll call her Denise for purposes of the update. Denise loves to draw, and at the end of my time writing to her, she sent me some pictures she drew of my cats. (Yes, I always share pictures of my cats with my buddies.) Because I was only her substitute, I didn’t get updates about Denise and her progress. I truly hope she’s healthy and happy now.

8. That’s the only bad thing about being a substitute; that you don’t find out when they finish their treatment or how they’re doing.

9. Once my assignment with Kate ended, I got back on the list for another buddy. I was matched to my newest buddy last month. We’ll call her Jane for update purposes.

10. It’s too soon to have heard anything from a check-in of Jane’s, and her information sheet was a little sparse. So, right now, I’m mostly guessing about what to write to her about. I’m hoping that she’ll provide a little more information in some of her check-ins. She does like to read, though, so talking about books is always an option.

11. Recently, Chemo Angels has asked for volunteers willing to write to male patients (adults and/or teenagers). Apparently, some volunteers are only comfortable writing to women or young childreb, and there’s a shortage of volunteers willing to take on male buddies. If you’re interested in volunteering and willing to have a male buddy, this is a great time to sign up. If you’re on the fence about volunteering with Chemo/Senior Angels, I highly encourage you to give it a try. It’s not very time-consuming at all, and it’s an incredibly rewarding experience. So many of the volunteers in the Facebook group talk about feeling like we get more from it than our buddies do, and I really feel like that’s true sometimes.

12. I’ve volunteered to take a male buddy if there’s someone with some interests in common with me. Now that I’ve had a couple of teenage buddies, I’m fine with having a younger buddy (though I’m still not up for taking on a very young child). And I work in a very male-dominated field, so I’m perfectly fine with having a male buddy.

13. I’m still so grateful to Bijoux and Betty for sharing their experiences with Chemo Angels. I don’t think I would have heard of the program otherwise, and I love being a card angel.

 

I truly believe that we all have a responsibility to do something, however small, to help others if we’re able. At times, I’ve had a hard time finding that something for myself, but Chemo Angels/Senior Angels has been a really good fit for me. I know it’s a very, very small thing in the grand scheme of things, but I’m okay with that. I like small, behind-the-scenes things, and I’m very much okay with sending cards that hopefully brighten someone’s day a little bit.

Crochet Cat Couch

I think I’m a very, very slow crocheter.  Back in September, I decided I was going to make my sister, Gabby, a crocheted cat couch.  She first asked for it in 2020.  In 2021, I told her it was beyond my skill level.  In 2022, when The Crochet Crowd released a left-handed tutorial, I decided to give it a try.

My original plan was to give it to her when we had our early Christmas celebration in November.  That didn’t work out.  My next plan was to give it to her at Christmas since we were planning to go to her house.  That didn’t work out either. 

We finally made plans to go stay with Gabby and Amy this past weekend, so I got to work on the cat couch in earnest. 

I had done the gauge swatch back in November. 

I also made the dust ruffle and got started on the couch. 

The pattern was largely a repeat of single crochet, double crochet.  It sounds simple, right?  For some reason, I couldn’t manage to remember the stitch and count the stitches.  I pulled out a few rows, then started relying very heavily on stitch markers. 

It was VERY slow going.   It took me days to finish one side of one cushion.  I also learned that I HATE slip stitching, which the pattern has a decent amount of.  I’m convinced it’s called slip stitching because of how often the hook slips out of the yarn when you do it. 

I’m in a few crochet groups on Facebook, and quite a few people who make the couch say they’ll never make another one.

I looked on Etsy to price them.  They’re all over $100.00, and some are close to $200.00.  I understand why!  I did notice, though, that some seemed to be based on a different pattern.  So, I started looking for more tutorials.  I found this one that I liked.

I finally decided to cobble together my own pattern based on these two tutorials and started over on the couch.  I kept the dust ruffle, though.

I didn’t tell Gabby I was working on it.  I wasn’t sure I’d succeed in making it. 

Fortunately, it worked.  I’m sure you can tell that there are a lot of mistakes.  I have ideas on how to fix most of them, and I think the next couch will look a lot better. 

I was running out of time and energy, so I didn’t make any throw pillows.  And I went really simple for the blanket.  It’s just a continuous granny square based on this tutorial.  I think it might have been a little neater if I’d used a smaller hook.  Next time!

When we got to Gabby and Amy’s. Gabby was cooking dinner, so Amy helped us carry stuff in.  Actually, she helped Nick carry most of the stuff in while I was in the kitchen with Gabby.  As soon as they brought the cat couch in, Amy told Gabby she had to come see what Nick had just brought in. 

Gabby was very excited!  She said she didn’t think I’d ever make it since I had told her it was beyond my skill level.  She and Amy both say it looks nice and looks like something they’d be willing to pay for from a store.  I’m not sure about that.  It’s definitely cute, but there are mistakes and things I could have done better.  But, I’m very glad they like it.   And, honestly, I’m still kind of proud of it, even though it’s not perfect.  It’s the biggest crochet project I’ve done thus far. 

More importantly, their cats like it.

Dobby is their most adventurous cat and he was on it within a few minutes.

I also need to make one for our cats.  Caroline was very interested in it.  She was even on it while I was sewing on the dust ruffle.

Gabby sent me this picture today of another one of their cats, Flitwick, on the couch.  It’s definitely cat approved!

Thirteen, But Not Thursday

I keep planning to do a Thursday 13 to catch up, but it doesn’t seem to be happening.  So, here are thirteen things anyway. 

First, though, thank you for your kind words when I wrote about Duke.  I love how much people who never met him loved him. 

Now, on to some catch-up things.

1. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  We took the meal to the hospice house for lunch, as usual.  As always, everyone was incredibly nice.  We hosted our Thanksgiving later that night and had a full house.  Everyone ate way too much, then sat around and talked and played games. 

 

2. Once again, I got too busy and forgot to take pictures of all of the food.  I took pictures of the desserts and some of the potato and sweet potato prep but then didn’t take any more pictures.

 

3. Our new fridge is a little bit smaller than the old one, which normally isn’t a problem, but it was somewhat problematic around Thanksgiving.  Fortunately, the fridge in the breakroom at work was mostly empty, and several people have mini fridges in their offices and were nice enough to let me store things.  I made a few early morning shopping trips before work and had a list on my office bulletin board of where everything was to make sure I didn’t leave anything when I left Tuesday. 

 

4. I crocheted a Grinch scarf using this tutorial.  Overall, I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.  Can you spot where I messed up joining the red and white on one of the feet?  Everyone says it’s not very noticeable.

 

5. I used Howard and Frankie to model my Grinch scarf for me.  Howard was a much more cooperative and enthusiastic model than Frankie. 

 

Howard, the enthusiastic model.

Frankie, the reluctant model.

6. We got the cats a little gingerbread scratch house at Christmas.  They seem to love it.  And we’ve discovered that scratch houses with peaked roofs hold up better than ones with a flat top (like the taco truck) since they can’t really get on top of them to crush them. 

Caroline

 

7. We did a very early Christmas with Nick’s mom, stepdad (Susan and Alan), and grandfather, and my sister and her girlfriend (Gabby and Amy).  Because of scheduling, we had it in mid-November (even before Thanksgiving), and it worked out really well.  We’re talking about doing that again this year. 

 

8. My Christmas gift from Susan and Alan was tickets to see the show Cats and dinner at The Melting Pot.  I had seen Cats once before when I was 10 or 11 and loved it.  At the end of 2019, Susan came up with the idea of gifting experiences for Christmas and/or birthday presents.  That was how we saw Les Misérables right before COVID.  Obviously, COVID kind of put the brakes on experience-type gifts for a little while, but for Christmas of 2022, I was gifted the Cats tickets. 

 

9. Another advantage, besides not having to dust it, find a place to keep it, etc., about experience gifts is that they don’t necessarily happen at Christmas.  Our Cats tickets were for April 8^th.  It was really nice to have something fun on the calendar for so long.  We don’t see a lot of shows like that, and we don’t tend to go out for fancy dinners or get dressed up a lot, but it’s nice to do sometimes.  We had a great time!  Dinner was amazing, and the show was incredible. 

 

10. Jennyanydots is still my favorite character.  She reminds me of my childhood cat, Sassy, and I love the tap dance routine.

 

11. My birthday was earlier this month, and my coworkers surprised me with donuts and a card, which was really nice.  One of my coworkers and I were in my office working on something, and someone else came to get us and said there was a short meeting in the breakroom.  The “meeting” turned out to be everyone in the breakroom with donuts and a card and singing happy birthday. 

 

12. And one of my coworkers gave me this mug, which I think perfectly explains why the meeting story worked so well. 

My office is still pink.

    13. Since 2022 was not a good year for us, we decided to burn calendars on New Year’s           Eve.  It felt so good to throw the pages in and watch them go up in flames!  

 

So, what have you been up to lately?  

Duke

I’ve been putting off writing this post for almost two months.  If you’ve been visiting for a while, I’m sure you know where this is going.  We had to say goodbye to Duke on December 21, 2022. 

I really thought we’d get one last Christmas with him, but when he started to decline, it was so fast.

Duke had his surgery for Cushing’s Disease in January last year.  They were able to get most of the tumor, but it was malignant, and we knew there was a chance it would grow faster than expected.  Duke recovered well from the surgery.  He had a great spring and summer.  He played in the yard, ate a lot more rabbits than anyone would have liked, was the center of attention on quite a few game nights, and shoplifted at the dog wash (don’t worry, we always paid for whatever he helped himself to).  His mobility wasn’t perfect, but it was good.  He struggled to get up from some floors but was fine once we helped him up.  And we lost an egg and cheese bagel to the assumption that he couldn’t get to it.

Then his mobility got a little worse.  He needed help up from every kind of flooring.  Then he started occasionally needing help up in the yard. Then he started losing weight.  The weight loss wasn’t a concern at first.  Dr. M had lectured us on Duke’s weight for years.  But the weight loss continued, even when we tried things to put weight back on him.  He developed some cardiac concerns.  His heartbeat would race for no apparent reason.  In consultation with Dr. M, we made the decision not to pursue cardiac treatment from the specialist.  We knew he had part of a malignant tumor left, and we knew we weren’t putting him through another surgery.  So we shifted our focus to keeping him happy and comfortable. 

In the meantime, he developed a sort of abscess on one of his hips.  Dr. M was treating it with antibiotics and even tried closing it up, but it reopened.  Duke didn’t seem terribly bothered by it, so we continued antibiotics and hoped for the best.  And Duke stayed his happy, friendly self.

At Thanksgiving, he needed help up and out of the bedroom, but once he was out in the living room, he was delighted to see everyone and went around the room to visit with everyone and see what they might be willing to feed him.  He got a lot of attention and petting.  Duke had a great Thanksgiving.

After Thanksgiving, his decline really picked up.  He lost too much weight to be able to wear his harness.  The abscess got worse.  He started struggling to stay up once we helped him stand up and was beginning to fall down more often than not.  We made an appointment for him to see Dr. M on Monday, December 19^th. 

That weekend, Nick wasn’t feeling well at all.  He was tired and had a lot of muscle aches.  The weekend before, he and some of our neighbors had saved another neighbor’s chickens from some dogs that were loose, and Nick ended up carrying a very large dog around for a while.  We attributed the back pain to that and lifting Duke.  Duke’s appointment with Dr. M wasn’t until late Monday afternoon, so I went to work Monday morning for a mandatory meeting.  Nick stayed home sick and decided to get a flu test.  They also tested for COVID, and Nick was positive.  My job sent me home.  And we canceled Duke’s appointment with Dr. M. 

Duke was having a relatively good day that day, so I thought we might be able to get through Christmas.  In the meantime, I went and got tested for COVID.  I was negative.

By Tuesday night, we knew that Duke’s rally was over and that it was time.  We also knew that Nick couldn’t go.  Dr. M is over an hour away.  Dr. D, the vet we take the cats to, is about ten minutes away.  My sister called and talked to Dr. D’s office Wednesday morning and explained everything, including Nick’s COVID and my negative tests.  She also called Dr. M’s office, and they agreed that taking Duke to Dr. D was a good choice.  He had been there before for a few things and knew and liked everyone there. 

I had called our neighbor, Lori, as soon as Nick tested positive for COVID since we had been around them a few days before.  They really are the best neighbors.  The kids insisted on dropping off cookies in the carport as soon as they found out, and Lori had been calling to check on us every day.  When I told her I was taking Duke in that afternoon, she said she’d go with me, so I didn’t have to go alone.  I found out later that their 15-year-old had offered to go with us in case we needed help lifting Duke. 

I am so grateful for so many reasons that Lori went with me, but the biggest one is that she saw the difference in Duke and said we were making the right choice.  If you’ve ever made the choice, you know how impossibly hard it is.  To me, there’s always the thought in the back of my mind that I’m giving up too soon.  Lori was shocked at how much Duke had declined since they were over for Thanksgiving and said he didn’t even seem like the same dog.

One of the vet nurses at Dr. D.’s office is in vet school and works there doing breaks.  She’s one of our favorites and was there the day we took Duke.  I was glad to see her, and she also helped when she said Duke had declined so much since she had seen him during the summer.

They carried Duke in on a little stretcher and laid him down on a nice little nest of blankets on the floor.  Lori and I sat with him, and we all petted him and fed him treats and even a little bit of cat food.  Everyone told him what a wonderful dog he was and how much everyone loved him.  He wagged his tail, licked my hand, and drifted off to sleep. 

We had Duke for eight years, and he was our boy from the moment we walked out of the shelter with him as a foster dog.  You couldn’t help but instantly love him.  He went through so much with the heartworms, kennel cough, and leg amputation.  I will never understand why he was an owner surrender, but I’m so glad he was.

I don’t think it’s possible to quantify the joy that Duke brought to people.  He made us happy.  Howard adored him.  Dr. M’s office sent a card, and more than one person talked about how seeing Duke walk in could turn around even a terrible day.  Everyone loved him when I brought him to work at my old job.  Strangers loved him.  I will never forget walking him downtown and a man running up to us and hiking up his pant leg to show us his metal leg and asking to take a picture with Duke.  Of course, I said yes.  He wasn’t the first or last person to ask for a picture with Duke, though he was the only one with a prosthetic leg. 

During the worst of the COVID shutdowns, when everything was drive-thru and/or curbside, I took Duke with me for practically everything.  At first, I did it because Duke loved car rides, but then I saw how happy it made people.  Even with masks, it was possible to see someone’s joy when they saw Duke.  There was just something about a dog who was so loveable and didn’t want anything from you that seemed to make a difference when things were so bad.

Duke made people happy.