Tuesday, July 27, 2021

A Chemo Angels and Senior Angels Update

Since it has been almost a year since I’ve posted much about Chemo Angels, I thought it might be time for an update.  As usual with this kind of post, the pictures aren’t related; I just think they’re good pictures. 

If you’re not familiar with Chemo Angels and Senior Angels, you can read my long post about them here.  The very short version is that Chemo Angels matches patients who are undergoing chemo treatment (known as “buddies”) with volunteers (known as “angels”) who write them letters and/or send them small gifts on a weekly basis.  Senior Angels is a sister program but matches seniors (still known as “buddies”) with volunteers (still known as “angels”) who write to them on a weekly basis.  I’ve signed up as a card angel with both programs. 

I still have the same chemo buddy that I had last time I posted about the program.  She’s the one who sent me such a sweet gift at the beginning of the year.  I’ve been writing to her for over a year now, and she has written to me a few times.  She seemed to be doing fairly well in her last check-in.  I love hearing that she’s doing well. 

I still have the same senior buddy that I’ve had from the beginning.  November will be two years that I’ve been writing to her.  She has written to me a few times.  I always love hearing from my buddies, especially since they’re not required to write.  Her daughter does her check-ins and always mentions if there was something she especially enjoyed hearing about.  That makes it much easier to write to her!  I sent her a copy of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, and apparently, she loved it.  Knowing that, I think we must have very similar taste in books, which has given me lots more ideas for different books to send to her. 

On a side note, if you haven’t read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, do yourself a favor and read it A.S.A.P.  It’s such a great book!  It’s one of my all-time favorites, and I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it.  

Charlie

I’m still writing to my teenage chemo buddy, but it’s no longer official.  We’ll call her Anna (not her real name) for the purpose of this update.  I received an email in April that Anna had completed her first year of treatment and that because the treatment is so long (two years or more) for Anna’s type of cancer, those patients are only allowed to stay in the program for one year.  The email came exactly one year after the email that I’d been matched to Anna. 

Anna’s mom had shared the link to her Facebook page about her treatment and progress in one of her check-ins and invited her angels to join the group, which I did.  Anna seems to have a lot of ups and downs.  There are times when her treatment is going well, and she’s able to keep up with a lot of normal activities.  Other times, she’s sick, losing weight, hospitalized, and in need of blood transfusions. 

The email that Anna’s time with the program was up arrived the same week that she spent some time in the

 hospital and needed a blood transfusion.  That seemed like a horrible time to send a last card saying, “well, your year is up, good luck.”  So I kept sending cards as usual.  I also sent one to Anna’s mom, asking if it was alright if I kept writing to her for the rest of her time in treatment.  Anna is 15, so it seemed like a good idea to get a parent’s permission to keep writing to her beyond the official limit of Chemo Angels.  I gave her my email address and told her how to find me on Facebook so she could tell me yes or no. 

Anna’s mom sent me a really sweet Facebook message.  She made me cry!  She said they’d love it if I kept writing to Anna and that she had saved all of my cards and pictures. 

Obviously, I’m still writing to Anna.

Duke

I don’t want it to sound like I’m bashing Chemo Angels in any way.  Overall, I think it’s a great program, and I understand that everything has to have rules and limits.  I just think sometimes you need to look at a situation on its own, not through a filter of “these are the rules.”  There are plenty of things where hard and fast rules are the only good option, but this didn’t seem like one of them. 

I’ve also signed up to be on the substitute list.  One of the most important requirements for volunteering with Chemo Angels or Senior Angels is that you must send something weekly.  The idea is that one positive thing needs to be reliable.  But, they do recognize that volunteers have lives outside of volunteering and that you may need a little break.  So they have a substitute list.  I haven’t used it, but my understanding is that you ask for a substitute for your buddy for a certain amount of time; vacation, you get sick, move, etc.  Someone else writes to them during that time, and then you start back. 

When you join the list to be a substitute, you’re added to an email group, and they send emails to the group with the basic information about the person they need a substitute for, as well as how long the assignment is expected to last.  If you don’t think you’d be a good fit, can’t take on another buddy, etc., you don’t have to respond.  If you’re interested in being their substitute, you respond, and they let you get an email with all of their information if you’re matched as their substitute.   

I signed up as a substitute card angel for a lady who loves cats and enjoys baking.  It seemed like we had plenty in common, so she’d be easy to write to.  I was supposed to be her substitute for about six weeks, but her regular card angel wasn’t able to start back.  The program sent me an email giving me the option to become her regular card angel or end the substitute assignment and have her assigned to someone else as her regular card angel.  I opted to become her regular.  It seemed like a lot of passing around if someone else became at least her third card angel, and we have enough in common that I don’t think I’ll run out of things to write about.  In her last check-in, she mentioned enjoying my cat pictures.  We all know I have no shortage of cat pictures to share! 

Howard

I still love volunteering with Chemo Angels and Senior Angels.  September will be two years that I’ve been volunteering with them, and I don’t see myself stopping any time soon.  Sometimes I think I get more enjoyment from it than my buddies do, especially during the pandemic when it forced me to focus on something positive every week. 

It’s definitely a little easier to write to them now that things are getting back to normal and we’re getting out a little more.  We visited a National Park earlier this month, and I was able to get postcards to send to them.  And I really enjoy taking pictures I think they’ll like. 

If you’re curious about Chemo Angels or Senior Angels, you can check out their website here, and there are links to posts about other blogger’s experiences in my long post


 So, have you sent or received any fun or interesting mail lately? 

15 comments:

  1. So sweet you are keeping up with the program and even picking up more to be an angel to! I have to agree with you about the time limit aspect of it. Seems like it should be throughout the duration of the treatment and beyond, even maybe if the requirement of once a week goes down to twice monthly or something like that. I found it very difficult to angel my buddy when she was on hospice. I really didn't know what to send to her though I looked at the lists of what to send and at her age of 78 I thought she probably has all this already and its just going to be something that her family is going to have to sort out and dispose of when the time came. Maybe my attitude was wrong about that and maybe that's why I haven't signed up to be an angel again. Like you, I'm not bashing the program. Just expressing how difficult that was for me during that particular time (though I know it was harder for her family). Perhaps it would have helped if they gave the option of not sending a gift weekly as but to send a card which I did several times a week.

    Great job you are doing with the program!!!! Proud of you for keeping up with it even during the craziness of the pandemic!!!!!

    betty

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    1. Fortunately, none of my buddies have gone into hospice care. I'm sure that would make it much harder to write. I know what you mean about sending stuff. I'm just a card angel, but I try to send some little gift about once a month. I hate getting a lot of junk that clutters up the house or that I have to get rid of. So I don't like the idea of giving someone else a lot of junk to deal with. I try to send mostly consumable things like candy or tea that will get used up. Or something like a book that they can pass on to someone else.

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  2. Wow! I feel as though the biggest accomplishment of my blog was introducing you to Chemo Angels, which I learned about through Betty. That is awesome that you are still doing it and have expanded your contacts!! It is such a generous thing to do, Danielle. I’m sure hearing from you is a real boost for them.

    The rules are quite strict with Chemo Angels and it makes me wonder about the backstory. I remember when I received the email saying my person finished treatment and I was to stop sending her cards. It seemed odd to me and I responded asking if I could send her a birthday card, since it was only a few weeks away. The office said yes, so I did. I only ever received one note from my person, thanking me for candy I had sent her. And then she did send me a gift at Christmas, but no note. It was hard for me to feel much of a connection, which made it difficult to find things to write about. I’m not sure I would sign up again, though I’m glad I did it for a short time.

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    1. I'm really glad you and Betty posted about Chemo Angels. I love being a card angel, and I don't think I would have heard of the program if hadn't been for your posts.

      It does seem like there's a probably a backstory to at least some of the rules. The program has been around for over 20 years, so I would imagine there have been issues on both sides with respecting personal boundaries.

      I think I've just been fortunate in hearing from most of my buddies. I was a substitute for someone else in the fall and never heard from her, so she was a little harder to write to. When her time with the program ended I just sent her a final card wishing her well. I think it would have been weird, bordering on inappropriate, to offer to stay in touch with her. With the three that I've had for a while, they've all written to me and have been fairly specific in their check-ins about things they've enjoyed. That makes it much easier to write to them!

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  3. Chemo Angels sounds like a great idea, amy's good to help people through difficult moments. Love the cat pictures, too! Have a great week, stay safe! Hugs, Valerie

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    1. I'm glad you like the cat pictures. We tell our cats all the time that it's a good thing they're cute.

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  4. I think rules are made for the general, and sometimes the specific instances don't fit those rules. Glad you were able to keep sending cards even though her time was up. I remember when you talked about this before. It's nice you've kept it up.

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    1. I think you're right about rules being general. I tend to be a rule follower, but there are times when you just have to use your best judgment.

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  5. Love that you are still volunteering with Chemo and Senior Angels, Danielle! You are truly a blessing to your buddys, and to all of us, really. Thank you for being you, and for being our friend. :)

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    1. Aww, thank you. And thank you for everything you do for the kitties at PAWS.

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  6. Wonderful that you take part in this scheme and bring a bit of good cheer and friendship to people who're having such a tough time. I don't think I'd have what it takes to be such a regular correspondent. I don't think there's any similar scheme in the UK, which is a shame.

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    1. I've always loved writing letters, so it's a good fit for me. The volunteer application asks if you're willing to accept a buddy outside of U.S. I'm not sure where else, though.

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  7. This sounds like a great program. I haven’t heard of one like it in this area.

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    1. I think they are in Canada. I've seen a few special assignment requests for people in Canada.

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  8. I love that you write to the people, and that these things even exist. But mostly I love that you wanted to keep writing to "Anna" after you officially could stop. I'm sure she really appreciates that, and can imagine the kinds of things her Mother's message to you was filled with.

    I've read "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" twice, and seen the movie once. The movie is good, but the book is better. I'd happily read that book again, and completely agree with your desire to recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it yet.

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